Moonlit Reflection
by SYF
Summary: Yue and Yukito are two sides of the coin. Yukito is merely a reflection of Yue and vice versa. So what happens when the mirror starts to crack?
1. Default Chapter

Moonlit Reflection 

By Syf

Prologue 

I wonder...would things have been different if I was just one person? Would I still be lonely if I didn't have to share my body with someone else, someone who is better liked than me? 

My other half is happier, gentler and kinder than me. He is the moonlight on snow, soft and beautiful. I am the moonlight on water, harsh and striking. We are night and day, fire and ice, sun and moon. 

Our personalities are different, as are our appearances. He is exactly as he is named, the snow bunny. He is someone who can be cuddled and held. I am, as my name says, the moon. Unreachable, untouchable, and, sometimes, unseen and unheard. 

We are mirrors of each other. Once a long time ago I wondered if he was just another side of me that lay dormant and expressed itself by creating another personality. But when I looked I found it wasn't the truth. We are so different we cannot be parts of each other. Although I tell him that he was created by me, that isn't quite the truth. He came into existence on his own, without my consent. One day I was all alone, the next he was there. I don't quite know why I accepted his appearance as calmly as I did. All I knew was that there was someone else who shared my body. And I didn't care.

Over the years I fell into the role of the observer, hiding behind someone else, watching life and time slip by me. Day by day I slid away from life until I existed only in the memory of Keroberos and the Cards. I think I fell asleep. I'm not quite sure. I knew everything that was happening but I didn't care. I was content enough just to hide from life and from the pain of losing him. 

I existed like that until the day the Cards called me. It was time for the Judgment. I judged the card captor and found her worthy. I didn't particularly care about the judgment or even about my new mistress. When I woke so did my need for life. If I had judged the captor unworthy I would have once more gone into sleep and I don't want that. Over time, however, I grew to like her and even respect her. She was young but she had potential to become a great magician. 

As time went on I observed life and its participants. I began to see what my other self had been up to while I was asleep. He had someone he loved, he had friends and he even had families. That person that he loved was familiar to me. He looked just like Clow. Touya. That was his name. Yukito loved him, I think. And I believe that Touya loved him in return. He even gave his powers to me to save Yukito. Touya is an enigma to me. He says that he wants me to protect his sister, he would trust a total stranger to protect his sister. Not to mention the fact that both Sakura and Touya seemed to think that Yukito and I were alike.

But I know the truth of that statement. Yukito and I are not alike and never will be. Simply because...

...We truly are mirrors of each other. 


	2. Chapter One

Moonlit Reflection 

By Syf

Chapter One 

Come on Yue!

No.

Please? 

What part of no don't you understand?

We just want you to join in.

Well I don't want to join in.

No wonder Keroberus called you a party pooper.

That's Kero's problem not mine.

[Please Yue.]

You just had to involve the mistress in it didn't you?

Sorry.

[It's not that much of a challenge is it?]

Yes it is.

[If you won't come out voluntarily then I'll have to force you out.]

You wouldn't.

[Try me.]

Fine. I'll come out.

Thanks Yue.

[You won't regret it.]

I'm already regretting it.

In the physical world silvery light covered the blindfolded Yukito from head to toe. Snowy wings came out to cover the snow bunny from view. When they fell back they revealed an entirely new person, although he was still blindfolded. The blindfold came off to reveal Yue's irritated amethyst eyes.

Yue glared around him with cold lilac eyes. He surmised that he was in the Kinomoto's backyard from the flowers and plants around him. In the middle of the garden was a table with several objects on them. The group of humans standing in front of the table stopped him from seeing what those objects were. "Why am I even here?" he asked coldly. The humans and guardian in front of him shared a look. They elected Sakura to be the spokesperson. She stepped forward still making sure that Yue couldn't seen anything. 

"We just wanted to say...happy birthday," she said biting her lips. Yue continued to stare with unnerving cats-eyes. "Oh and here're your present," she said with a smile. The group of humans stepped aside to reveal the table. Arrange on the table were several brightly wrapped packages. Yue's eyebrow lifted. Sakura waited patiently. The moon guardian stepped forward. A pale hand stretched out to poke a package. 

Yue looked at the packages as if he had never seen one like it before. "What are they?" he asked disinterestedly. Kero rolled his eyes with exasperation.

"You're supposed to open them," he told Yue. The moon guardian looked at his counterpart witheringly.

"Obviously," he said adding a touch of sarcasm of his otherwise bland voice.

"Then open them," Kero prompted. Yue looked from the stuffed toy to Sakura to Tomoyo to Touya. 

With a silent sigh he opened the first package efficiently. A small card told him that it was from Sakura. Pale slender fingers worked to reveal the present to the receiver. When the wrapping was finally gone Yue stood staring. 

"Well?" Tomoyo prompted looking out from behind her camera. 

The present was a book. The front cover was silver and covered with magical symbols. He flipped it over and saw that Sakura's symbol took up the back of the book. 

"What is it?" he asked flicking through it. 

"It's a journal. I had help from some of the Cards to make it," Sakura piped up. Yue's glanced at her. 

"Why do I need a journal?"

"Everyone needs to write things down sometimes, whether it's something major or minor."

In the brief silence before Yue spoke, it was evident that Sakura was suffering a moment of regret. "Thank you Sakura," Yue said softly. Joy flooded the girl's face as she realised that he had called her by name. She smiled brightly at her guardian. Yue nodded and turned to the other presents. He scanned thtm with critical eyes.

"Open mine," Kero begged. So of course Yue opened Tomoyo's. It was a costume much like his usual uniform. However it was black and silver with purple linings. The costume was basically a shirt and long pants with a robe over the top. The shirt was black with long sleeves and buttoned up to the wearer's neck. The pants were black like the shirt and designed to cling loosely to the legs. The sleeveless robe was black and lined with silver. A dark amethyst cloth was supposed to be wrapped around the waist once then fall over the right shoulder to trail on the floor. Black leather gloves and boots accompanied the costume. Yue looked at Tomoyo.

"You've been wearing the same thing for hundreds of years it's time for you to get a new wardrobe," the girl explained. Sakura giggled at the nonplussed look in Yue's eyes.

"Oh yeah and I have one more thing for you," Tomoyo said digging into her purse. She pulled out a jewelry case. Yue accepted it and opened it to reveal an earring. It was a silver ring with a small ball of obsidian attached to it. 

"Thank you," Yue said with a nod. Tomoyo grinned already seeing in her mind Yue in the costume. 

"Yu-ayyyyyyyy," Kero whined. The other guardian rolled his eyes. 

"Fine," he snapped. 

"YAY!!" Kero yelled doing somersaults in the air. 

Yue sighed at the sun guardian's antics and opened his present. For a moment he could only stare. It was a huge box of chocolates. 

"I don't eat," he told Kero. The toy drooped and sighed with exasperation. Trust Yue to be so boring.

"Come on Yue just one taste," Kero begged. 

"Hmm let me think...no."

"Pleeeeeeeease," Kero begged. 

"You can have them," Yue offered. Kero hesitated torn between making Yue taste it and getting it all for himself. 

"As long as you eat one," he bargained. A look was all he got in return. 

"I don't eat," Yue repeated. 

"We can have this discussion later," Touya cut in thrusting another present into Yue's hands. It was a pale blue envelope, unmarked. 

"It's from Yukito," Touya explained when Yue gave him a quizzical look. 

The present turned out to be a card. On the front was an angel sitting on top of a tower and staring at the silver moon. Yue turned the cover over. His cold eyes softened as he read what was written inside. It said:

Dear Yue,

I've never seen you before so I don't know what you look like but from what everyone said, you look like the angel on the front. I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Thank you for protecting Sakura and Touya and sorry if I've caused you any inconvenience. One day I hope I can see you properly.

Love 

Yukito

Yue mentally smiled. It was him who should be thanking the snow bunny for giving him a chance to see life. And it was also him who should be apologizing for causing any inconvenience. With a last look he put aside the card. The next present had no name on it or card but Yue already knew who it was from. There was only one person left after all.

The wrapping yielded another book. It was a book of poems by several famous poets from all over the world in their natural languages and a translation in Japanese beside them. Yue looked up at Touya who looked away. "I heard you mention once that you like poetry," he murmured. Yue lips twitched slightly at Touya's uncomfortable expression and nodded. 

"Thank you," he murmured caressing the front of the book. Touya shrugged and looked away his face slightly pink at the gratitude shown by Yue. Sakura and Tomoyo shared a look before collapsing into giggles. When Touya and Yue looked at them they smiled innocently not fooling either one of them.

"There's a present from all of us," Sakura said pointing at the last package that Yue hadn't seen until she had pointed it out. Yue eyebrow rose but unwrapped it anyway. This was also another book.

  
This book was much like the book that Sakura gave him.  But the cover was gold and there was a small mirror on the front. Yue opened it with curiosity and let out an involuntary gasp. 

"Don't you like it?" Kero asked. Yue shook his head slowly. The book was in fact a photo album. In it were pictures of everyone ranging from Sakura to Meiling to Eriol. Most of them were group pictures. There were also pictures of Yukito and Touya sometimes with Nakuru in the middle. The irate expression that Touya had whenever Nakuru was present made Yue smile. At the last page Yue paused. It was a picture of all of them together on the day that Eriol left the country. Yukito was there instead of him but when Yue looked closely he could see the purple eyes in place of the normally hazel eyes. 

"The mirror was from Eriol. He said that you could look at particular scenes from your life using it," Sakura told him breaking the moon guardian out of his reverie. Yue looked surprised but nodded. He turned back to the front and stared hard at the mirror. The book glowed gold for a moment then faded.

The reflective surface rippled as if someone had thrown a stone into it. The ripples grew stronger and stronger as each second passed. When the mirror stabilized again it showed a young man with silver hair sitting at the base of a tree reading a book. Yue smiled as he recognized the younger version of himself. 

From the trees in the background and the red leaves on the ground, Yue surmised that it was autumn. A tiger cub pounced on the young man making him fall on the ground. The young Yue glared at Kero who only grinned back unabashedly. 

The much older and wiser Yue smiled wistfully as he remembered other scenes much like the one before him. He would always be all alone reading or practicing his magic and then Kero would jump in and mess it all up. Those times always resulted in Kero getting drenched with icy cold water.

"Yue?"

The question made the guardian look up. Sakura, Tomoyo, Kero and Touya were looking at him with varying expressions of worry on their faces. Yue let a small smile grace his lips before answering. "I'm fine just...remembering," he said putting the book down. He caressed the cover tenderly as he looked up to the group of people and animal that surrounded him. 

"Thank you very much," he said softly unused to the feeling of those words in his mouth. 

Sakura and Tomoyo grinned and said, "No worries". Kero just grinned and looked happy. Touya looked aside and muttered something. Of them all Yue found Touya's reaction the most interesting. Touya was usually very glib but today he seemed to be very silent. And it seemed that he wasn't the only one to notice since Sakura was looking at her brother strangely. 

"Something wrong Touya?" the Card Mistress asked tilting her head slightly to the left. The older boy looked around with confused eyes. He looked from Sakura to Yue for some reason then back again. 

"Nothing, nothing's wrong," he finally answered with a slight twist of his lips that was meant to pass for a smile. Sakura didn't look convinced and frowned. 

"If you say so," she said concerned for her older brother. Kero however didn't care about his mistress' brother. Instead he was sniffing the air tentatively. 

"Come on people the food is calling us!!" Kero cried zooming around like a pigeon on steroids. That loud cry was sufficient enough to distract Sakura. But not Yue. The moon guardian stared hard at the young man with flinty amethyst eyes. 

"What?" Touya demanded glaring back. He sounded very defensive.

"Something is wrong," Yue declared. Inside of him Yukito stirred knowing something was going on but unable to interfere. Touya looked away and began to walk towards the house not answering the question in Yue's voice. Yue didn't stop him this time. He was too busy examining his reaction to Touya's actions.

He felt strange. He examined the emotions that he was feeling with an analytical mind. It was very…strange. He felt annoyed, slightly angry, and yet slightly amused. He never felt amused. Kero felt amused but not him. But the strangest thing was yet to come. As he continued to analyse his feelings he realized with sudden clarity that he also felt concerned. For Touya.

Yue stopped. Lucky that no one was around to see him since they would have witnessed the moon guardian lose his composure. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. 

/What the…?/

/Why do I care? He's just a human who looks like Clow. It shouldn't matter to me that he's unhappy./

It shouldn't but for some reason it did. And this worried and confused him. He wasn't supposed to feel concern. Yukito was the one who was supposed to be emotional, not him.

"Yue!!" Kero's loud yell broke his concentration. Yue determinedly locked those emotions away to be examined later. Perhaps when he had had time to think he would better understand his reaction. If not, they could be easily suppressed. He had had plenty of experiences at that. 


	3. Chapter Two

Moonlit Reflection 

By Syf

Chapter Two 

"Yue, you aren't eating your cake," Kero complained poking the guardian in the chest with his paw. Lucky for Yue, Kero was in his toy form. Otherwise the force of the push would have resulted with him sprawled on the ground. Kero might be gentle but he was still a powerful beast. Although looking at him now, one wouldn't think that he was that powerful. Pink icing was smeared all around Kero's mouth, making it look like he was a toy who had a very messy accident with pink lipstick. 

Yue looked at him with barely veiled disgust on his face. There was icing on Kero's paws as well as his mouth. Fortunately Kero had poked him with the paw that was moderately clean, meaning Yue's shirt was only messy instead of very messy. There was a pink paw print left on Yue's uniform looking very out of place on the neat guardian. 

"I've told you before, I don't eat. I don't need to eat and I don't want to eat. Now get your dirty paw away from my clothes," Yue said scowling slightly. In retaliation Kero suddenly swooped in and landed a big, messy kiss on Yue's cheek. Just as suddenly a camera flash went off beside the two, immortalizing the amusing scene. 

Tomoyo held up her camera and shrugged. "Sorry I just couldn't resist," she said not looking very apologetic. Beside her Sakura was giggling and Touya looked like he wanted to laugh but didn't dare to. Yue looked from them to Kero and back. Yue's mind was focused on one thing and one thing only. Revenge. He looked around the place and his eyes landed on his birthday cake.

"That cake is mine and I can do what I want with it?" he asked politely, pointing at the cake. Since Sakura had forgotten to measure out the ingredients correctly there was still half of the cake leftover. Sakura, Tomoyo, and Touya shared a three-way look. 

"I suppose," Sakura said with a shrug. The three looked on with curiosity as a small smirk appeared on Yue's face. The moon guardian turned to look at the confused Kero and still with that smirk on his face he grabbed the sun guardian out of the air. 

"Hey! What're you doing?" Kero yelled struggling to get out of his brother's grasp. Hs efforts were futile. Yue was stronger than him in this form and in his panic he didn't think to change into his other form. As his mistress and her friend and brother looked on Yue walked over to the table. 

"Consider it an early birthday present for you, since you seem to like cake so much," Yue said gravely holding Kero up by the scruff of his neck, directly over the cake. Kero's eyes widened as he realized what Yue was about to do. 

"YU-mmmph," the rest of Kero's yell was stifled as he was pushed head first into the cake. His revenge accomplished Yue took a few steps back, and to the left so that Sakura was between him and the cake. It was a shrewd move on his part, as was to be proved in the next few minutes. 

Now that he was freed from Yue's grasps Kero flew up into the air, a strange figure covered in icing. He could barely make out his brother due to the icing in his face. Yue decided to give him a helping hand. "Had enough of cake Kero?" Yue taunted safe behind Sakura.

With a loud yell Kero charged toward Yue, relying on his sense of hearing to guide him. It was too bad he didn't see Sakura in his way, and it was too bad that Sakura didn't figure out Yue's schemes until too late. 

BANG!!!

THUMP!!!!

"KERO!!!!"

On the ground was Sakura, her face and her shirt covered in icing. The source of that icing was beside Sakura, whirls in place of eyes, and a silly smile on his face. Tomoyo was shamelessly taping this on her camera, not caring that this was her best friend who was being embarrassed. Friendship was second place when it came to blackmail materials. 

Touya, the smart boy, who had figured out Yue's devious plan, had stepped away. The moon guardian had also stepped away cautiously, in case Sakura fell on him and was now looking upon the result of his plans with a smug smile. Touya shook his head in despair of his sister's humiliation. 

"Wonderful kaijuu, you can't even control that stuffed toy of yours," he muttered quietly. Apparently not quiet enough since Sakura was up in an instance and in his face. 

"Don't call me kaijuu," she snarled stomping on Touya's unprotected foot. 

"Owwww!!!" Touya howled clutching his wounded foot. Hopping over to a chair he collapsed on it, scowling at his sister. 

Yue laughed softly, his chuckles lost in Touya's yell. Tomoyo was cleaning Kero up with a hand towel. The toy had by now woken up and was glaring ferociously at his brother. As soon as Tomoyo was done he flew over to Yue to scream at him. The other guardian stared at Kero impassively letting him rage on. 

Tomoyo stood back and watched as the two pairs of siblings fought it out. Sakura and Kero both were scolding their siblings like there were no tomorrow, while Touya smirked unrepentantly and Yue looked bored. The relationship between Sakura and Touya and Kero and Yue was so similar that it was almost scary. The dark haired girl laughed and looked up at the clock. Panic came over her face as she saw the time. 

"Sakura your father's coming home in fifteen minutes!" she yelled to her best friend, cutting through Kero's diatribe and Sakura's rebukes. The two ceased to yell and look over at Tomoyo, who pointed at the clock mutely. 

"Oh no!!!" Sakura yelped forgetting about her brother's offences in favor of the threat of her father finding out about Yue and Kero. She whirled around the kitchen cleaning up the mess that they had made. Tomoyo jumped into help her as did Kero. 

Yue stood by not knowing what to do. He was unused to being around humans for this long and felt somewhat useless as they moved about cleaning up the house, even Kero was helping. "Here." Yue was surprised to find a small towel in his hands. He looked up and saw Touya staring at him. 

"Excuse me?" he asked politely not knowing what Touya was trying to say. Wordlessly Touya pointed at Yue's cheek, the one with the cake icing and crumbs on it. 

"Oh, yes," Yue murmured wiping the sticky substance away with a few swipes of the small towel. "Thank you," he said referring to the reminder. Touya shrugged and turned away. 

"You can help me clean up the table," Touya said not turning around to face Yue. The moon guardian had his misgivings about being asked to clean up the table but nodded anyway, even if Touya couldn't see it. The mortal boy stacked up the dirty plates and handed them to Yue. 

"Give them to Sakura," he instructed. Yue accepted the order with a silent nod. Back and forth Yue went transporting plates, cutlery and rubbish to the kitchen so that they could be taken care of by Sakura, who had cleaned the icing off her face but not her shirt, and Tomoyo who was washing up. Between the five of them the kitchen and dining table was cleaned in a matter of time. 

Exhausted by the evening the five rested in the living room. On the table were Yue's presents in a bag, to make it easier for Yukito to cart them back to his house. Sakura and Tomoyo were giggling over something and Kero was listening in on them shamelessly. Yue, as usual, wasn't saying anything. He was standing by the window to watch for Sakura's father's return. Touya, ignoring everyone, was staring at his hands which were clasped on his lap. 

"Hey oniisan, why don't you go talk to Yue," Sakura whispered nodding at the moon guardian. She had moved over to sit next to her brother. Kero and Tomoyo were talking animatedly about something on the other seat.

"Why don't you talk to him? You are his mistress," Touya pointed out somewhat confused by Sakura's request. The young girl sighed. 

"So? You're his other form's best friend. I thought you might have more in common with him than me," she said logically. 

"Yukito and Yue are completely different," Touy said his arguments logical. By this time Tomoyo and Kero had stopped talking to stare at the siblings curiously.

"Please," Sakura begged, "He looks so lonely." Touya glanced at Yue and had to admit that Sakura was, for once, right. Yue did look very lonely, standing at the window with his wings folded tightly behind him and his arms folded across his chest. 

"Fine, whatever," Touya finally answered running a hand through his hair. A bright smile lit up Sakura's face. 

"Thanks 'niisan, you're the best," she said gleefully. Touya wondered what was going on. Sakura's rapid mood change was very strange. He stood up and walked over the moon guardian. Yue didn't look up but Touya was sure that Yue knew he was there. 

"So…" Touya trailed off. What was he supposed to talk to the icy creature about? 'How's it like, celebrating your birthday for the first time since your creator died?'. Nope, that was definitely not something he should say. So he settled for a predictable and boring question. 

"Did you like your presents?" Yue looked up now, with a small amused smile, as if asking Touya 'couldn't you do better?'. 

"Yes," he said shortly. Touya liked being around Yukito, but Yue was a completely different matter. At times the moon guardian got on his nerves, a lot. Suppressing the urge to roll his eyes, Touya did credit to his ancestors and soldiered on even if he got the feeling that the moon guardian was laughing at him.

"Did you like the cake?" he asked politely. 

"I didn't eat it." By this time Touya knew that Yue was laughing at him. Giving up completely Touya lapsed into silence. Yue turned back to the window, not saying another word. Touya could hear Sakura, Tomoyo and Kero laughing behind them. 

"Why are you talking to me?" Yue asked out of the blue. 

"I wasn't _talking_ to you, I was _trying_ to talk to you," Touya corrected him. Yue waved that away and looked at Touya willing him to answer. Touya stared back coolly irritated by Yue's cold demeanor. Minutes passed, and neither one back down. In the end it was Touya who looked away. 

Avoiding the original question, he asked one of his own. "When is Yukito's birthday?" Yue frowned, annoyed that his question hadn't been answered. But irritation turned to confusion when he heard Touya's question. 

"You already know his birthday."

"No, I'm talking about the day that he was created, not that fake birthday you put in his head," Touya rephrased his question, looking back at Yue. 

"Ahh…" Yue fell silent as he thought deeply. It had been long ago so he couldn't remember readily. "I believe that it was the 29th February when he came into existence," he finally answered shooting a glance at the boy who had asked the question. Touya's face revealed his surprise. 

"Did I say something wrong?" Yue asked one eyebrow lifting up. 

"That's my birthday," Touya blurted out amazed by the coincidence.

"Interesting," Yue muttered staring at Touya. His amethyst revealed none of his thoughts, so Touya had no clue as to what was going on in that complex mind. And at times he wasn't sure he wanted to know. It was unnerving to known that the other side of your best friend was a heartless, icy, magical being. 

"What's interesting?" Sakura asked suddenly appearing behind Touya. Yue saw Touya flinch in surprise when he heard his sister's voice. Hiding a smug smile he turned to his mistress.

But before anything else could be said fate intervened in the form of Kinomoto Fujitaka. The sound of the front door being unlocked echoed in the suddenly silent room. The three humans and two guardians froze. With a burst of energy Sakura and Tomoyo ran off to distract Fujitaka while Yue changed back into Yukito. 

Touya had to step back when Yue began to change. He shut his eyes as the light grew too bright to look at. When the light faded Yukito was back. The young man stumbled as he began to familiarize himself to the physical realm. Touya quickly stepped forward to grab his friend when it looked like Yukito was about to fall down. 

"Thanks To-ya," Yukito said gratefully as he was saved from the embarrassment of an ungraceful fall.

"You're welcome," Touya said helping Yukito stand again. Before anything could be said Fujitaka walked into the room followed by Sakura and Tomoyo. 

"Hello Yukito. How was the dinner?" As far as Fujitaka knew, Sakura and Touya had invited their best friends over for dinner, and cake. 

"Good evening Kinomoto-san.," Yukito said politely, "The dinner was excellent. Touya and Sakura are very talented cooks." Sakura blushed at the compliment while Touya merely grunted. Fujitaka smiled at the characteristic reaction of his two children. 

"I am sure they appreciate your compliment. Will you be staying over tonight?" This was a valid question since Tomoyo was sleeping over. But Yukito shook his head regretfully. 

"I am sorry but I am going to an archery competition early tomorrow and I don't want to inconvenience anyone by waking them up early in the morning." Yukito smiled apologetically. 

"Are you sure?" Fujitaka looked outside worriedly. "It is quite dark." 

Yukito grinned. "It's quiet all right. I'll be perfectly fine." Fujitaka looked ready to argue but Touya stopped him. 

"Don't worry I'll take him home myself," Touya said, leaving no room for arguments. Yukito smiled up at his friend gratefully. Reluctantly Fujitaka nodded his consent. Yukito collected his belongings and bowed to both Fujitaka and Sakura. 

"Thank you for having me over for dinner. I'll see you on Monday Sakura," Yukito directed his last sentence to the girl who nodded happily. 

"It was no trouble Yukito," Sakura said walking him and her brother to the door. "Good luck at the competition."

"Arigatou. Oyasumi nasai." The two smiling girls waved as Yukito and Touya walked away. The bespectacled boy waved back before turning around to face the right way.

~ * ~ * ~

And that was the second chapter of Moonlit reflection. I have a vague idea of where I'm going with this. I'm just not sure how to get there. But for now things seem to be working out okay so I'm happy. Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I have never gotten so much review for just two chapters. I was really surprised. It seems that there're more Yukito/Touya and Yue/Touya fans than I thought. 

I appreciate people who put forth constructive criticism, but that doesn't mean I don't want pure simple praise, because I love that as well. It keeps my ego floating in the skies. In other words, I would appreciate it if people reviewed this chapter as well. 


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three **

_Silence. _

_For most people even the word itself seems stifling. But not so for me. I like being surrounded by silence. I was created in silence, I was brought up in silence, and I was locked away in silence. It might even be said that I am silence. Any kind of noise is only a distraction. But silence is both a blessing and a curse. Being silent means no longer having to worry about inadvertently revealing secrets best kept hidden. By being silent I hear more than is possible if I were to talk loudly. Silence brings with it wisdom. _

_At the same time, silence is loneliness. By being silent you shut yourself away from the world. Silence means being alone. Silence means there is no one to rescue you from your own darkness. That no one cares about you. Silence means that no matter what you do, people still won't notice you, or care about you. Contempt always accompany that kind of silence. Disgust and fear mixed into one._

_Some though...despite all those negative connotations I like silence. I like knowing that whenever I want I can slip away unnoticed. And I like to be able to think clearly without the distraction of spoken words. The purity of silence is missing from this hectic world. It is tainted by unfeeling and dishonest words._

_I don't need to talk. I can hear and see everything that my other self does, why should I talk when my false form can talk for me? Even so, most of the time I don't choose to listen or watch. Why bother? It wasn't as if it's going to make me feel any less lonely. And I feel no need to immerse myself in humanity as my brother had done. I am a being made of power and I know that all too well. I can never become a human so why should I torture myself with something I can't have?_

_But at times I find that I have the sudden need to surround myself with life. I want to be able to interact with others. And the longer I do so, the harder I find it to slip away. An addiction, that's what it is. I am addicted to life, and humanity. So instead of slipping into sleep I stir from my stupor and listen attentively to Yukito and Touya. It was a comfort just listening to them._

* * *

Yukito looked up at the full moon with a smile. Tonight was the perfect night to hold a party for Yue. The moon was full hence the guardian's strength was at its peak. The sky was clear of any clouds allowing the stars to shine bright. No wonder Sakura had been so energetic. Her power source was at its best and brightest tonight. It seemed as if nature itself was doing its best to make it the perfect night for Yue's birthday party.

Yukito turned to look at his best friend. Touya was walking along with a thoughtful frown on his face. A gentle smile appeared on Yukito's face. Touya thought too much sometimes. And that was why Yukito was his friend. Touya needed someone to show him that the world wasn't so serious. He needed to be shown that hidden within the folds of life, there was always a treasure worth discovering. With that in mind Yukito spoke to break Touya out of his morose mood. "How was the party?"

The glazed expression disappeared off Touya's face as he looked at Yukito. "It was fine," he answered off-handedly. Yukito shook his head in consternation. Touya never gave away anything more than what you had asked for. Out of the corner of his eyes Touya saw him doing so and frowned.

"What?" he asked a hint of annoyance in his voice. Touya always did hate being left in the dark, Yukito thought to himself fondly.

Yukito looked up at him with laughter filled blue eyes. "You are so closemouthed," he replied with amused exasperation. Touya grunted looking away, but before he did Yukito was sure he saw a smile on his face.

Yukito stifled a laugh and schooled his face into one of sombreness. It would not do to have Touya see him laughing at him. "How did Yue like the party?" he continued with the questions. Touya shrugged.

"He seemed to like it just fine," Touya paused, "Until the stuffed toy annoyed him." Touya rolled his eyes to express his annoyance and exasperation. Yukito laughed out loud at the image that his mind conjured up at those words. He knew all too well how annoying Touya found Kero to be. And if Yue was anything like Touya, Kero would probably irritate Yue to no ends.

"That must have been fun to witness," he said shaking his head fondly. As annoying as Kero was, Yukito liked him. The stuffed toy, as he was affectionately known to many of his friends and enemies, somehow felt familiar to Yukito. Even before he found out about the Cards, Yukito had always felt a connection to the toy. Yukito supposed it had something to do with the relationship between Yue and Kero. Caught up in his thoughts Yukito did not notice Touya looking at him with a bemused expression. The two continued to walk, Yukito smiling at his thoughts, and Touya casting him glances from the corner of his eyes. Eventually however, even the most oblivious of all people would have to notice the stares he was garnering.

Yukito looked up at the sky again, and again he saw Touya staring at him. He had noticed that lately Touya had taken to staring at him for an inordinate amount of time. It wasn't bad. It was just a bit uncomfortable to have someone stare at you as if you had the answer to the mystery of life. Yukito had put up with it for a while before the need to ask Touya overcame him. But every time he had tried something interrupted them. Although, now seemed like a good time to ask why, seeing as how they were alone. The next time Touya looked at him Yukito's eyes caught Touya mid-stare. A smile threatened to appear as Yukito noted the startled look on Touya's face when he discovered that he had been caught staring.

Yukito smiled at Touya innocently, making the situation seem completely incidental. "Is something wrong To-ya?" he asked very sweetly. To his surprise and amusement Touya's face flushed pale pink and he looked away quickly. Yukito stared after him, his curiosity stirred by the unusual reaction he had coerced from his friend.

"Nothing's wrong," Touya murmured not convincing Yukito in the least. Yukito being Yukito, he decided to let the matter go. If Touya wanted to tell him, he would tell him, Yukito told himself, even though a little part of him couldn't help but feel hurt. He buried that hurt deep within his heart. Why was he feeling betrayed? Just because they were friends didn't mean they had to tell each other everything, Yukito told himself sternly. Moments later, he sadly concluded that the stern talk had done nothing to lessen the feeling of betrayal.

Yukito suddenly realized that Touya was staring at him again. But this was not the bemused stare. It was the 'is he even listening to me' stare. Hurriedly pasting a smile on his face Yukito once again pretended to be innocent. "All right To-ya," he said cheerfully. By this time they had arrived at his empty house. Touya stopped outside the gate, as did Yukito.

"Thank you for walking me home," Yukito said looking up at Touya, shifting the bag to his other hand so that he could get his keys. The taller boy stared down with a strange expression on his face. As the silence and the stare continued Yukito's smile turned into a frown. This was the same stare that Touya had been giving him all week. Had he done something wrong?

"To-ya?" he said hesitantly, unable to hold back the hurt tone in his voice. His words, as much as the tone of them, penetrated the fog in the other boy's mind shaking him out of his dazed bemusement. Touya shook his head sharply, the strange expression disappearing off his face.

A small smile appeared on Touya's lips, one that very few would have detected. Yukito was one of those very few. When Touya smiled he too smiled back cautiously. "I'm fine Yuki, I've just been having trouble sleeping lately" he assured warmly, or at least, as warmly as Touya could ever sound. Yukito hid his anxiety behind a smiling mask. It isn't your place to push him, he told himself.

"If you say so," he agreed, not letting as hint of his true feelings show. Touya's shoulders relaxed minutely in relief. Yukito saw that but did not question it. "I'll see you on Monday?" Yuki's tone turned the statement into a question.

Touya nodded. "Good luck tomorrow," he said softly reaching out to brush a strand of hair away from Yukito's bright eyes. His hands lingered, altering the movement into a caress. Yukito held his breath as the hand travelled along his jaw. Touya's eyes were unreadable but Yukito thought he could detect a hint of warmth. The tip of Touya's finger stopped at Yukito's chin. The two froze in the pose staring at one another for an indefinite amount of time. Eventually Touya let his hand fall to his side. Yukito released his breath in a soft gust of breath that he hoped Touya didn't hear.

"A – Arigatou To-ya," Yukito stammered suddenly remembering Touya's words just moments ago. His white skin flushed pale pink. He wasn't sure whether he was relieved or disappointed that the moment had been broken. Confused, that word explained his state of mind.

With an enigmatic smile Touya stepped back to allow Yukito his personal space. Yukito ignored his blush as much as he could and turned to unlock the gate. After a few tries he finally got the correct key. A small click was heard as the lock was released. "Konbanwa Yukito," Touya murmured as Yukito slipped inside.

"Konbanwa To-ya," Yukito replied just as softly. With one last smile Touya turned to walk back to his house, leaving behind a very confused snow bunny.

* * *

Yukito noticed that he was standing somewhere very strange. He was standing in mid air high above the city of Tokyo. Far below him, the city was shining in all of its glory, lighting up the sky with pale gold and red glow. Yukito was not scared, even though he had every right to be, given that he was standing on nothing, several hundred feet above the ground. It was only a dream after all.

"Hello Yukito." The masculine voice did not startle him. Yukito knew who it was. He had never heard the other man speak before yet he knew the voice as intimately as he knew his or Touya's. Pushing up his glasses Yukito turned around with a welcoming smile.

"Hello Yue," he greeted. He knew he should be panicking. He knew he should be surprised, shocked, but he could not summon anything other than bemusement. It was perfectly normal, even expected that he would meet Yue in his dreams. In dreams, the line between reality and illusions blurred, false form met true form somewhere that should have been impossible to get to.

Standing in front of him was a pale angel, so beautiful Yukito wanted to cry. But that ethereal beauty was tainted with very human emotions. White wings held tightly to the body, and the arms folded across the chest, Yue presented the figure of a disconsolate being. Yukito could feel unvoiced emotions floating in the air. There was joy certainly from Yukito himself and curiosity from Yue but lurking beneath that was something else. Something that made the meeting more melancholic than it should have been.

When Yue did not say anything else the silence began to grate on Yukito's nerves. Not even Touya's silence was this stifling. Frantically Yukito cast around in his mind for anything to say. "Will I remember this when I wake up?" Yukito eventually asked gesturing at the scene around him.

Yue shrugged. "Most probably not, you are just the false form after all," he murmured softly, looking up at the full moon, not seeming to notice Yukito's flinch. To hear his other form speak of him so dismissively of him hurt him far worse than he had imagined. Yue had mellowed but his social skills still left a lot to be desired. But Yukito kept on smiling, determined to endure. This was his once chance to properly talk to the Moon guardian and he wasn't going to waste it.

"So did you enjoy the party?" Yukito asked determined to make Yue talk to him, even if the talk was centered on unimportant matters such as the party. He would have liked to ask other questions but he sensed anything more intimate that the question he voiced would have made Yue catapult him back into the real world without another word.

A shrug was the answer to his question. Yukito took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Just pretend its Touya, he told himself. But then he had to bite his lips to keep from laughing. That thought was funny because it was true. Yue and Touya were really alike. Both were the silent, glowering type who'd much prefer to cut their tongues out rather than reveal their emotions. And both liked to hide their worries and hurts behind an icy façade.

Yukito attempt another start to the conversation. "Is there a reason you called me here?" he asked.

This time Yue turned to look at him. "You said you wanted to see me, didn't you?" he said, answering the question with one of his own. Yukito nodded uncertainly.

"But if I can't remember you, what use is it?" he asked sadly.

Yue looked at him gravely. "You will remember how I look like, but you won't remember how we met or what we talked about. I am able to bend Clow's rule to suit us both." Yukito smiled brightly but then dimmed as he heard the bitterness in Yue's voice as the angel voiced the name of his creator.

It was at that moment that he was able to finally identify the strange emotion underlying the words as loneliness. Yukito's heart ached at the realisation. Now that his eyes were open he could see a glimpse of the real Yue. Yue, the moon guardian, the one who lived all alone, only coming out in times of crisis. Seeing the proud moon guardian standing there, on his own, triggered a wave of sympathy in him. "Yue, do you ever feel lonely?" he asked in a soft voice. Yue's eyes hardened at the question. The pale haired angel whipped around to stare at his false form.

"Why would I have any reason to be lonely?"

Yukito was taken aback at the harsh tone. "It's just – you don't seem to have anyone to talk to. You don't ever appear unless you have to, and you disappear as soon as you finish your task. Don't you ever find it lonely to exist like that?" he asked hesitantly. He did not know Yue very well even though they shared the same body. He often wondered what he would talk to Yue about if they ever met face to face. They did not have anything in common. Technically they were supposed to be the one person but it seemed strange to even consider Yue as another side of him. So he was unsure of how to approach the topic of loneliness with Yue.

The tight smile on Yue's face worried Yukito. "Of course I don't find that lonely." Yue's smile grew even grimmer. "I was designed not to feel emotions, Clow made sure of that."

Yukito could find nothing to say to that. He looked down, absently admiring the bright city of Tokyo. The uncomfortable silence only grew. He did not know Clow so there was nothing he could say in the magician's defence. And somehow trying to comfort Yue seemed futile. Sometimes he hated being the false form. He hated being the odd one out. Briefly anger and jealousy rose in him that was quickly squashed. He should not feel upset at being left out, Yukito reminded himself. He was happy being the false form, or at least that was what he told himself. But a trace of anger and jealousy lingered in his heart.

"It is late," Yue announced not seeming to care about Yukito's internal struggle, "I have already used too much of my powers to bring you here."

Acknowledging the dismissal Yukito covered his emotions and smiled shakily. "All right, thank you Yue."

Nodding gravely Yue watched as the human boy faded away from his mind as did the scene of Tokyo. Left behind in darkness Yue closed his eyes and ignored the lonely silence.

* * *

_It is something of a surprise to find myself envying my other form. I have never been in that position before. So many times I have scorned his existence but now I catch glimpses that tells me that perhaps his existence isn't as empty I had first believed. When I saw him tonight, I felt...bitter. Anger that I had never known existed in me, welled up without consent. However, I am puzzled. What have I to be bitter about? Why have I begun to resent my false form? _

_I don't care that he is loved and respected by everyone. And I don't care that people only fear me. That is what I have been telling myself for decades. But only recently have I begun to realise that each time I see someone smile at Yukito, it hurts. Every time Sakura, Touya, or Kero greet Yukito and ignore me, I feel as if they have abandoned me. I shouldn't be feeling this way. Clow created me to be the perfect guardian, emotions will only interfere with my job. _

_So why is it that I can't stop feeling all of these unnecessary sentiments?_


	5. Chapter Three and a half

**_Chapter Three and a half _**

Once upon a time there was a great Magician. This Magician was the most powerful sorcerer in the whole world. Even when he was a child he was magically stronger than anyone else. His parents were strong sorcerers, one from the west, the other from the east. Because their child was so powerful they taught him everything they knew as soon as he could speak. When the child became a man he could do anything. He could control the weather, he could create things out of thin air, he could tame animals with just a word. People from far and near came just to talk to him, just to bask in his presence.

But the Magician was not happy. Because of his powers many people also feared him. Everywhere he looked people were scared of him, envied him, hated him. The ones that did not, wanted to use him. They wanted to make him do things for them. They flattered him with false compliments and they flirted with him, hoping that he would grant them some favour, or that they could find a weakness of his and exploit it. But the Magician could see beneath their false respect into their dark hearts full of dark desires and turned them away with a smile. This continued until the magician grew to hate people. He did not trust their smiles, he could not stand to see the fear in their eyes, and he grew weary of fighting sorcerers who only wanted to say that they defeated him. But because his parents were so proud of him and loved him he stayed to please them even though he felt so lonely.

One fine spring morning, the Magician's father died. He passed away quietly among the poplar trees with a smile on his face as if the afterlife held some pleasant surprises for him. The Magician and his mother cried, mourning the loss of the one they love. They gave him a quiet funeral, with only friends attending. They cried and cried, the magician more than the mother because he had lost one of the two people he loved most in the world. Now he only had one person who did not fear him. So they cried, but they moved on, they could not stay stagnant in sorrow forever.

The Magician looked after his weary mother, making her life comfortable. The mother told her son that she could not die until she was sure he was happy. She told the truth. He knew she was tired but he also knew she would not leave until she had fulfilled her promise. So to make sure she would not have to worry any more the Magician travelled the world looking for something that would make him happy.

He found it.

The one thing that would make him happy was a young man with long honey-brown hair and warm brown eyes. He was from the Li clan and thus a distant relative of the Magician. The Magician did not love him, not in the conventional sense, but the young man made him happy. He did not fawn all over the Magician, he was not afraid of him, he did not wish to defeat him. Instead the Magician found that the young could and would argue with him, forcing him to do the right thing, making him see things from another point of view. The young man was intelligent, caring, and strong. He was a warrior with pride and a heated fury when roused to anger. Oh, how the Magician adored him.

The mother, safe in the knowledge that her son was finally happy slipped away into the shadow realm, joining her husband who had waited for her. The Magician mourned her passing. But his friend comforted him, telling him that life was not over yet. Knowing that his friend was right the Magician wiped away his tears and calmed himself. He would not shame his family.

For years the Magician and his friend went back and forth between the east and the west. They were loyal to each other and protected each other. You see the young man was also a strong magician. Not as strong as his friend perhaps but strong enough to attract unwanted attention. Not only that but he was also heir to the Li clan making him even more desirable. It was not rare for the two of them to be challenged in their travels, or for magicians to send their servants to attack them. And when trouble came the two would guard each other's back. For years they existed this way. For years they lived for each other. But all good things must come to an end. Nothing lasts forever.

It was on a cold winter night that the young man was killed. Neither the Magician nor he, for all their great powers, could foresee that the young woman they would accommodate on such a cold day would be a golem sent to kill them. They let her join their table, they gave her shelter, and they welcomed her into their home with nary a hesitance. After the dinner the magician led her to her room and bid her good night. How he would regret his actions.

In the dark of the night while they slept the woman followed her orders and slit the throat of the young Li heir. The young man did not make a sound. Her task completed she dissipated into her original form, that is, a doll. The magician slept on not knowing that his precious person had been slain in his own home.

Soon enough morning came and with it, revelation. The Magician woke and as was his tradition took a bath, dressed himself and began to make breakfast for the two of them and their guest. With a cheerful tune on his lips he approached his friend's room and knocked. There was no answer. And there would never be answer.

There was blood.

There was death.

There was lost hope.

The years that followed were full of despair, hatred, and anger. Sorcerers and sorceresses died left and right as the Magician hunted down the killer. Any and every challenge was accepted and no mercy was given to his opponent. The Magician had changed. He was no longer the shy youngster, the caring son, or the kind friend. He was the cold moon. The world would regret ever killing the Li heir. He would make sure of it.

During that time he created two guardians using the blood of his murdered friend. Two magical beings that would help him in his search for revenge. One was a dark haired angel with dragon wings and the most beautiful mauve eyes. He was kind and sweet, his powers of healing and empathy lending him an understanding of the human heart that many magical constructs could not grasp. The Magician called him Sying. His counter part was a golden haired man with equally golden dragon wings and pale sapphire eyes. He was beautiful, untouchable, and he was cruel. Hesperos, the evening star. He was the Magician's weapon, his champion.

They were not beholden to him, both of them drew their powers from the stars; Sying from the dark stars and Hesperos from the shining ones. The Magician had bound them to him only through a tenuous thread that naturally existed between creator and the created. Hesperos fought for him, protected him, and Sying cared for him, soothing his anger away with a touch. Though they were not tied to him, they loved him and protected him fiercely.

As he had promised to himself he hunted down and killed the sorcerer responsible. But no peace came to him. There was no purpose to his life anymore. He would sit for days by the window in his mansion watching the world go by outside. Nothing made him happy. Only then did he appreciate that his special person was gone and, no one and nothing could replace him. Not his creations, who loved him, not revenge, and not magic. There was no colour in his life anymore.

A young woman changed his mind for him though. This young woman was the designated wife of the Magician's friend and she had loved the heir very much. She was beautiful with large emerald eyes and glossy honey brown hair. Her name was Ying Fa. She came to visit him with one guard, charming her way past the protective Hesperos and the cautious Sying. She tried to use her very small magic to unlock the study door and when that did not work promptly ordered her guard to break it down. She then proceeded to berate the Magician for forgetting his friend. Stunned, the Magician protested that he did not such thing. Ying Fa only had to show him the way he had abandoned his friend's beloved garden, study, and bedroom, for the Magician to realise that he had indeed forgotten his friend.

Slowly the young woman helped him rebuild his life again. They found solace in each other. They had both loved the young man and they both felt the lack. They would tell each other stories, confide in each other, and it was the Magician Ying fa ran to when they pushed her to marry again. But, as with the young man, nothing lasts forever. The young woman did not have enough magic to continue living. She died underneath a blossoming sakura tree, a book by her side, and a smile on her face.

By this time the Magician was tired of having to watch people whom he loved die. He was tired of life. Bit by bit he began to retreat from society until he disappeared from society all together. He lived in the house he had shared with first his friend, then the young woman. His guardians cared for him as they had since they came into being. One day though the Magician began to crave noise, noise that had existed while he was living with the young man, and Ying Fa and her guard. Sying was a quiet young man who spoke gently and never more than he absolutely had to. Hesperos was quiet in a different way; his quiet was one of ice and storms. His quiet was a prelude to a hurricane though no one had witnessed it yet. Frustrated by the silence in his house the Magician created two more guardians.

As the sun set on a beautiful spring day the sun and the moon met in the sky. At that exact point in time the Magician called on his considerable magic. His two guardians watched with worried eyes as he summoned the magic of the sun first. The sunbeams gathered in the east coalescing into a small lion cub with fluffy white wings. The lion cub yawned and instantly fell asleep. Chuckling over his newest creation's actions the Magician turned to the west where the moon shone. Once again the magic was performed and once again the moonbeams gathered into a magical being. This being was a young child with snowy white angel wings and large amethyst eyes. His first action was to kick Hesperos, who had grabbed his shoulder when the child stumbled, in the shin. The child was named Yue, and the cub was called Cerberus.

From then on the house was filled with laughter, scathing insults and retorts, and outraged yells. All four guardians had a niche to fulfil in the Magician's life. Hesperos was the feared elder brother who did not hesitate to punish his younger brothers for misdemeanours. Sying was the mother to whom all of them would gravitate to for comfort and healing in cases of pranks gone wrong. Cerberus was the instigator of many pranks and stolen puddings, and the one in charge of irritating Yue and Hesperos both. The youngest of them all was the beloved, studious child, babied by everyone. This was the perfect life the Magician had dreamed of.


	6. Author's Note

**Author's Note (very belated)**

I am going to be addressing a few things in this short essay. Firstly the change in timeline and events from the birth of Clow to where this story is currently at, and will also deal with where the story is going. Secondly, the appearances of new and old characters, both in the half-chapter and in the actual story, and what roles they play. Thirdly, the meaning behind this half-chapter and the people in it. And fourthly, the names I used and the meanings behind them.

First issue: The change in timeline. According to the previous half-chapter Clow is approximately 280 years old, give or take a few years. The problem was that I do not know his life story and since I don't have time to research it, and it probably won't fit in with my plot very well, I have decided to rewrite it so to speak. Not to mention that otherwise Hesperos and Sying would not exist. Now let's skip ahead a few hundred years and we get to Sakura. This whole story occurs after Eriol's test and at this point in time Eriol has not given Fujitaka's half of the power to him just yet. He will though, later. Yukito is aware of Yue but have not met him properly. Where is this story heading? Well, it has been decided that Moonlit Reflection is going to be a prequel to a series that hasn't got a name as yet. Why? Um...I got really bored and extremely creative. Blame my muses; all of them have psychological problems.

Second issue: Characters. I'll deal with the ones in the half-chapter first. All the humans that were mentioned were mentioned for a particular reason. Every last one of them. They have a relevance to the series mentioned above. Hesperos and Sying will not be making any appearances in this story except possibly through other half-chapters. In fact, they will not be mentioned by anyone in this story at all. I know a lot of you are at this moment going 'WTF' or some other variation of it, but there is a method behind my madness. This story is all Yue/Yukito, Touya, and a small, small Fujitaka and Eriol. Which lead me to the characters in the actual story. Fujitaka will feature heavily, while Eriol will be heard from time to time on the phone or whatever. The reason for this will become clear later. Sakura, Kero, and Tomoyo will be support characters, and Syaoron and Meiling might also be heard from. A few new faces will appear, mainly classmates and other such beings.

Third issue: Why on earth did this half-chapter appear? I'm establishing a few things for the later yet unnamed series. The people that came into this story all have a role to play in the past and the future as I have explained before. The half-chapter really has very little to do with the actual story but I thought it would be interesting to read. It is entirely possible that a few more scenes from Yue and Kero's childhood will appear again but I'm not making any promises. If you want me to write any more half-chapters about any particular people or events feel free to request. I am at your service so to speak.

Fourth issue: The names: Why did I used Cerberus instead of Keroberus. Cerberus was his original name I believe which was changed to Keroberus later. Seeing as he is still a child it seemed obvious to use his English name. For people unfamiliar with Greek myths; Cerberus is the three-headed guardian dog of Hades, the underworld. He does not have wings but the name does sort of make sense when you think in terms of Hades being Hell. Yue is the Chinese word for moon. Ying Fa is the Chinese word of cherry blossoms I think. That should give you a clue as to who the hell that woman was or will be. Hesperos is a little more difficult to explain. Venus, the brightest star in the sky, is called by two names, Hesperos in the evening and Phosphorus in the morning. Stars are associated with the night so I thought it would be more logical to call him Hesperos, and besides, Phosphorus sounds really weird. Sying is a Chinese name meaning 'star'.


	7. Chapter Four

**Moonlit Reflections**

Chapter Four

Breathe in, breathe out. Keep breathing, keep focused. The actions were almost automatic.

Place arrow.

Pull back.

Aim.

Let go.

THUNK!

True to form, the arrow landed in the brightly lit circle that was the centre of the target. With a sigh of relief, Yukito lowered his bow. It was always a tense time for him during competitions. He was always so afraid that he would suddenly lose his skills, failing himself, his friends, and most of all Touya. Silly? Yes. But that was his way.

Smiling at his success Yukito left the stand for the next competitor. It was a knock out competition where each competitor had three shots. The winner would go onto the next round, while the loser would immediately be dropped out of the competition. This one was the semi-final. If Yukito won, which was likely, he would face the winner from the other draw. The youth gave some thought to who it could be. From what he had heard Morimitsu Shiroi was a viable option.

Shiroi was new to the scene but had already won two of the more prominent competitions. Yukito had never met him but heard of him from various friends. It would seem that Shiroi would be serious competition for Yukito. He was looking forward to it.

* * *

There were no doubts about it. Tsukishirou Yukito had won the semi-final, and by a large difference in points too. The boy in question smiled as he accepted the congratulations from his opponent. Even though he had won only a few minutes ago, his mind was already on the next competition. He did not know who had won but he knew whoever it was would put up a good fight and that was really all that Yukito wanted. Normally he would never be so competitive but it was most likely due to Yue's influence. It was full moon in two days and Yue was growing in power.

"Yukito!" A soprano voice called. The young man turned and found Sakura waving cheerfully at him. Behind her were Tomoyo, Fujitaka, and Touya. All of them were smiling at him with various degrees of pride. What was even more shocking was the presence of Daidouji Sonomi. That was a surprise in and of itself. Yukito barely spoke to the woman but perhaps her attendance had something to do with Sakura, Tomoyo, and Touya. They were all family after all.

With that thought in mind Yukito smiled at all of them, including Sonomi in his welcome. "Ohayou minna-san. What are you doing here?"

Sakura was the one to answer. "To see you win of course. Tomoyo-chan even brought her camera along to capture the moment." On cue Tomoyo held up her ever-present camera.

The pleased smile, which appeared for a few seconds, turned into a quizzical frown. "But I didn't tell you where I was competing. How did you get here?" At the innocent question Touya grinned while Fujitaka and Sonomi turned red, and Sakura and Tomoyo giggled. Yukito certainly couldn't understand the reaction his question had caused.

Touya took it upon himself to explain when it became evident that no one else would not, or could not, answer. "Your fanclub knew so we asked them. They were more than happy to guide us provided that we copy the tape for them. But on the way we got lost. Drove around for nearly half an hour before we decided to ask a local. Turned out the competition was about five kilometres back. By that time we were totally lost. Had to bribe a truck driver to guide us here."

Yukito blinked. "Quite an adventure," he quipped with a smile. With a faint smirk on his face Touya nodded. Yukito would have said more but stopped when Touya's eyes shifted to something behind him.

"Excuse me, are you Tsukishirou Yukito?"

While Yukito turned around, everyone else's eyes moved to the boy standing behind Yukito. "Er, yes. Do I know you?" Yukito asked, his eyes showing his bewilderment. The youth in question smiled. He brushed back his long brunette fringe revealing sky blue eyes. He held out the same hand for Yukito to shake. The hand was slender and small, looking as equally fragile Yukito's.

"I'm Morimitsu Shiroi. I'll be your opponent in the finals. I just wanted to wish you luck."

Recognising the name, Yukito shook the youth's hand firmly. "Oh, right. Good luck to you too. I have to admit I'm a little nervous. I've heard some stories about you." He said this with a smile but it was the truth. He _was_ nervous about facing the boy. Shiroi didn't look very intidimating but his skills with the bow were already legendary in the archery world. Many of Yukito's colleague had versed the youth and all had lost. They all talked about this new competitor with awe and no little amount of respect. Now Yukito would finally see what was so special about Morimitsu Shiroi.

"I've heard a lot of things about you too. Maybe I'm the one who should be nervous?" A slight lilt of the voice made the statement into a question. When Yukito blushed in embarassment lush lips curved into a secretive smile.

Yukito blinked.

For a moment Yukito could've sworn that he had seen that same mocking smile somewhere before. It was strange but the smile and the speech pattern seemed familiar in the way that both Eriol and Fujikata were familiar; a nostalgic memory that his mind could not seem to grasp no matter how hard he tried. But Yukito was also just as positive that he had never met this young man in his entire life.

Deciding that he really should get more sleep, Yukito shrugged and smiled at Shiroi. "Well, it's been nice to meet you. Good luck again."

"And to you as well."

They watched the boy walk away confidently, subjecting him to various degrees of scrutiny. If Shiroi noticed he didn't react. "He's very friendly," Sakura noted as they watched the boy walk away.

"Yes," Yukito agreed, still wondering why this feeling of reminiscence plagued him.

* * *

"How is he?"

"Better than I thought he'd be. He looks happy."

"Did any of them recognise you?"

"No, not at all."

"Good. And did you set the spell like I told you?"

"Of course."

"Always the obedient one aren't you?"

"I live but to serve."

"Excellent. I think we can leave them to it. It should take them a while to find the solution, even with that British boy's help. Now, shall we search for your brother?"

"If you wish."

* * *

A/N

1. I hate this chapter so much. Too short and too messed up.

2. I've still got no idea where to go with this. My voices aren't helping me very much. sigh


	8. Chapter Five

**Moonlit Reflections**

By Syf

Chapter Five

_Did Clow plan it this way? Was it all part of his ineffable plan?_

_If so, he's a manipulative bastard. _

_I don't hate him, far from it. He was_ _my world. I think the word I'm looking for is 'disappointed'. 'Betrayed' is another description of the way I feel. He created me for purposes still unknown; being Kinomoto Sakura's guardian is only part of it, that I am sure of. Clow had a strange way of looking at the world, the present was always overlapped by the future. He does nothing for a reason and I know that he has tried to accomodate for everything, so surely there must be a reason for the cards. If there is a reason for the cards, apart from them being a way to prove his magical superiority over his colleagues, then there must be something else for me, for all of us guardians. We are all linked to the cards in some way or another. But even knowing that Clow had reasons other than a whim for my existence does not lessen his betrayal._

_He created me, us, to love him, protect him. He made us powerful, intelligent, beautiful. Still, I myself did not ask to be this way. I didn't ask for my mistress to be afraid of me, for my brother to be irritated with me, for the cards to be scared of me. Most of all, I didn't ask for a false form that is starting to be more 'real' than me. _

_Yukito is...dear to me. He is someone whom I have known for almost all of my entire life. In a way he is closer to me than Clow or Cerberus ever was. However, as dear to me as he is, I still can't help feeling resentful of him for the way he has taken on a life of his own. He is becoming something other than my false form and that does not sit comfortably with me. Am I not the real form? Do I no longer matter in the scheme of things? One day, my mistress will no longer require my protection. She is already approaching Clow's level of power and soon she will no longer need me. And if I am not a guardian, what will I be?_

_Maybe when that day arrives...I will simply disappear and Yukito will be all that is left._

_

* * *

_

"Yuki?"

"Yuki?"

"YUKI!"

THUNK!

Yukito looked up dazedly to find his best friend still holding onto the book that he had slammed down with irritation. "Yes, To-ya?" he asked with a sheepish smile. He moved to push his glasses up, still smiling disarmingly.

"I've called your name at least three times," Touya replied, still frowning, "What were you thinking so hard about?"

"Yue."

The irritated look disappeared from Touya's face to be replaced by confusion. Privately, Yukito thought that the confused look was a lot cuter than the almost eternal protective glare that Touya wore. "Yue? What's he got to do with anything?"

"I'm just wondering…"

Touya rolled his eyes at the vague words. "About?"

"Why Yue doesn't come out as much any more. I mean, he used to come out at least once a month, to check up on Sakura, but now…"

The frown reappeared as Touya considered Yukito's words. That was true, Yue didn't appear as much as he used to. And when he did, it was an extremely short visit. It was odd now that he thought about it. "Maybe he's…er…what do Guardians do in their spare time?" he mused, "Kero plays games and eat, Nakuru shops and creates havoc, Suppi reads. So what does Yue do?"

Yukito blinked. "I…have no idea. He is stuck in my head so maybe he watches what I do."

"Seems kind of boring to me. No offense, Yuki," Touya hurriedly added when his friend directed an affronted look at him. "But you have to admit, it must be really boring watching someone else's life not being able to do anything."

The other boy tilted his head to the side, a strange smile blooming on his lips. "You almost sound sorry for Yue. I thought you didn't like him."

Touya shrugged, throwing himself onto the bench beside Yukito. "He's a prick but he's never broken his promise to me."

"Promise?"

"To protect Sakura, and you of course. Without my powers I can't tell when something bad happens. Yue's not so bad when you get past the whole 'I'm the untouchable guardian' thing."

"So, you think of him as a friend then?" Touya's eyebrow rose slightly. Was it his imagination or did Yukito sound tenser than usual?

"I suppose," the taller youth answered cautiously. "I don't think of him as an enemy if that's what you mean."

"Oh." Yukito looked away, that strange smile still on his face.

"Something wrong, Yuki?" Touya asked, nudging his friend with an elbow. Yukito looked up, a smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes. Touya was getting worried.

"I'm find, To-ya."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

* * *

_Touya gives me another concerned look but he doesn't press the point. I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not. On the one hand, he's letting me have my privacy, but on the other it doesn't give me a chance to say what I want to say._

_Touya's my best friend, sometimes I want it to be more. Most of the time though I'm happy with what we have. Right now, he's mine and even if he doesn't think of me as more than a friend it's fine. He'll leave one day though and I don't know what I'll do then. I keep thinking I should say something but every time I summon the nerve, a disaster strikes. For example there was the whole situation with Nakuru and before that was all the blackouts courtesy of Yue, and I don't even want to think about what could happen this time round. _

_I wonder if Yue's aware of what I'm thinking. I don't think so. I hope not. My thoughts are my own and my feelings are my own. I like Yue, I have no choice since he does live in my head after all, but I'd rather not share this with anyone._ _I want a part of me to remain my own._

_Admittedly, I also don't want him to know because he's part of the problem._

_

* * *

_

"Hey, 'niichan, what's wrong with Yukito?"

Touya paused, the knife in his hand halfway through the tomato on the cutting board. He turned to look at his sister, wondering at the suddenness of the question. Sakura was staring back at him with uncertain eyes. Sakura usually never looked so serious, which was why Touya decided to forgo the usual name-calling and get straight to the matter. "What do you mean?"

Sakura hesitated but plunged right in when Touya encouraged her to continue with one arched eyebrow. "He just seems a little…out of it. Is it something to do with Yue?"

"Yue?" Touya repeated. This was getting a little strange he decided. Yue didn't tend to come up in normal conversation but both Sakura and Yukito had both mentioned him in the same day. "What's Yue got anything to do with him?"

"Well, technically Yue is the true – "

" – He is NOT the true form!" Touya cut in firmly.

Sakura gave him an affronted stare. "I was about to say that _technically_ Yue is the true form but we know he's not. He and Yuki are the same people. We _know_ that."

"Get to the point kaijuu," Touya prodded exasperatedly.

Still scowling, Sakura went on. "So whatever's happening to the one should be affecting the other. Maybe Yuki's depressed because Yue is?"

Touya put down the knife, knowing that he wasn't going to finish while Sakura was focused on the idea of working out Yukito's strange mood. "That sounds a little bit far fetched, even for you. Yuki doesn't act like Yue and vice versa."

"I…" she trailed off uncertainly before speaking again, "Something feels wrong. Magically wrong. It's not the cards. It's like something bad is about to happen but I don't know what. I just know that it has something to do with Yuki and Yue."

Her brother gave her a sharp look. It was easy to forget that Sakura was the Cardmistress. And it was also easy to forget that Clow chose her for a reason. She was going to grow up to be one of the strongest sorceresses in the world and perhaps it was time he gave her some respect. But only some; he was still her older brother after all. The mention of Yukito and Yue worried him though. "Have you checked the cards and talked to the stuffed toy?"

"Kero's feeling tired and I don't want to do any readings without Kero or Yue there."

It was at times like these that Touya really wished he had his powers. "Then go wake the toy. I'm sure he'll wake up for his brother's sake." No one knew when they'd begun to refer to Kero and Yue as brothers but it had stuck. Eriol had laughed when he heard and joked that it meant Nakuru and Suppi were their half-siblings. All four protested loudly and managed to change the 'half-siblings' to 'cousins', very, very, distant cousins. Speaking of the English boy, Touya wondered if he had something to do with this. It was unlikely that the Hiragazawa boy would do anything to harm Yukito but pranks could, and sometimes did, get out of control.

"Um…maybe I'll try in the evening," she vaguely said as she turned to leave, still worried as ever.

Touya frowned at how preoccupied his sister sounded. "Don't leave it off too long, kaijuu," he warned.

Instead of flaring up at the insult, Sakura only shrugged, giving her brother a shadow of her usual genki smile. "I'll won't," she promised.

* * *

Eriol frowned down at the cards. The actual lay was right but it was as if someone had come along and randomly placed cards in whichever order they liked. Times like these, he wanted the Clow cards back. It was easy to make mistakes with normal Tarot cards but it was near impossible to mess with the Clow cards' ability to tell the future.

"Eriol?"

The boy looked up and found Mizuki looking at him concernedly. The priestess was at Eriol's home at his request but the sorcerer had said nothing about why she was there. Eriol looked back to the cards, tapping his fingers on his chin. There was one particular card that stood out for him; The Moon. It was an upright card, meaning enemies, danger, darkness, terror, deception. It was also Yue's card. His eyes moved to the card close by; The Tower. This time it was inversed, which generally tended to mean imprisonment. This combined with The Moon…"Mizuki-san, I think Yue's in trouble."

The woman immediately took notice. "Of what kind?"

"I don't know."

"You don't – " Mizuki bit off the last word. How could Eriol not know? It was true that he was no longer connected to Kero and Yue but he should have some clue as to what was going on. "Will you go to Japan then?"

Eriol took a while to answer but the answer was one Mizuki did not expect. "No."

To say Mizuki was surprised would have been an understatement. "Why not?" she asked, losing her calm in favour of confusion.

"My instincts tell me my presence would only worsen the situation. This is a prelude to something and Yue will have to work it out on their own. I can't keep running to their side every time they get into trouble."

The woman took a deep breath, trying to view the situation from Eriol's perspective. Unfortunately, she knew he was right. Sakura was growing up and she needed to learn how to deal with problems on her own. Eriol's presence would only confuse Yue and Kero as to whom they should listen to. And beside, her mind piped up, if Yue was in trouble then so was Yukito and maybe this crisis would be enough to push Touya to tell Yukito/Yue of how he felt. "So we wait?"

Eriol inclined his head. "We wait."

A/N

1. Is it me or did it take a lot shorter to get this chapter out?

2. Eriol finally appeared. YAY! That means Fujitaka will have more of a part to play as well.

3. I have a concrete plot now so go me. It involves a lot of Abnormal Psychology themes and terms. I'll try to explain it as we go along.


	9. Chapter Six

**Moonlit Reflection**

By SYF

Chapter Six

**Dissociative Fugue**

After an acute stress, the patient suffers severe memory loss, and adopts a different persona. They are unaware of their previous identity and may seem perplexed about the current identity. They can however role-play complex characters with little trouble.

* * *

"Yue, what's wrong with you?"

Amethyst eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by that?" the silver haired being asked icily. Keroberus' tail swayed from side to side, twitching with annoyance.

"You know what I mean. I haven't seen you for almost a month now." Keroberus kept his voice level and calm, even though the way Yue kept dodging his question was really getting on his nerves. "Not since your birthday actually."

Yue's lips curved in a thin smile. "Really? And somehow that's something to be concerned about?"

"Yes," Keroberus gritted out. "You always used to come out to at least see if Sakura was all right."

"And scared her if I remember correctly."

Keroberus shrugged. "Well, yeah. You don't have the friendliest faces around. And you aren't exactly encouraging of her efforts either."

"Then isn't it better that I don't come out as often?" Yue's voice was reasonable and calm, which was really annoying in Keroberus' opinion.

"No."

Yue pulled his wings closer to himself, and finally deigned to glare at his brother. "What is it that you want Cerberus? I'm protecting her, I'm not interfering unnecessarily, I'm not ruining Yukito's life. What more do you want?"

"I want you to start living. I want you to stop being this shadow. Even Tomoyo's noticed how little you've been appearing."

"You don't need me to appear."

Keroberus growled deep in his throat. "Yes I do."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I damn well do."

"No."

"Stop being so damn stubborn!" Keroberus finally yelled.

Amethyst eyes narrowed in anger. "It is not necessary that I appear regularly. And that's the end of this discussion."

"N – YUE!"

Yue shifted back into Yukito, not brothering to wait for his brother to finish. Keroberus clenched his teeth in frustration as the confused youth appeared in place of the Moon Guardian. Unlike Kero, Yue was the type to avoid confrontations and he was a master at slipping away at the worst times.

Yukito blinked, a little frightened by the angry winged lion. "Kero?" he asked tentatively, "What's wrong?"

With obvious difficulties, Keroberus toned down his anger. "Nothing Yukito, nothing at all."

* * *

**Dissociative identity disorder**

Formerly known as multiple personality disorder, patients with this disorder feel as if they have at least two personalities within themselves. Beginning in childhood, it is a possible response to abuse and is replete with symptoms such as anxiety, depression with suicidal impulses and acts, trances, and amnesia.

* * *

"I'm going to kill him. Why does he have to be so damn STUPID! It's not enough that he's moping about Clow, he starts being more of an anti-social prick as well. Is it too much to ask that he just say something meaningful to me, his brother? Of course not, but he's just so damn unreasonable."

Sakura stared at her Sun Guardian. Kero was scary as a fire-breathing lion, but he was even scarier when he was an overprotective older brother. "Um, maybe he just didn't want to talk?" she suggested tentatively.

"I KNOW HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK!" Kero roared. Sakura squeaked. It was then that Touya's head appeared around the door of the room.

"OI! Don't yell at my sister you stuffed toy," Touya snapped.

"IF YUE WASN'T SO DAMN STUBBORN, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO!"

Touya immediately grabbed the winged bear and cover his mouth. "That made no sense and you might want to shut up before the neighbours come around. It's not Sakura's fault so stop blaming her." When Kero glared at him, he glared right back, there was no way a toy was getting the better of him.

The girl in question was looking back and forth between the two and hesitantly spoke up, "Ano…It's all right, oniisan, really. I know Kero didn't mean it."

Touya's glare swung to her and she squeaked again. "That's not the point. You don't yell at someone when you're upset with someone else." Meanwhile, Kero was struggling to get free of his gag, and finally managed after some wriggling and pushing.

"He's right," the Guardian said reluctantly, sparing a glare for Touya, "And I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"Good, you'd better not do that again, Stuffed Toy." At the nickname Kero spat out a word that made Touya almost smile in amusement, and made Sakura blush pink. "Now, what was it you were yelling about?" Touya continued calmly.

Sakura and Kero shared a look, wondering what exactly to say. "Yue," Kero finally answered, "Y'know how he's been disappearing for long periods of time? It's been worrying me."

A frown appeared on Touya's face. "Why? It's not like he talks to us very much in the first place."

Kero shrugged uncomfortably. He was simply not used to talking about things like this with his Mistress' brother but then again Touya was friends with Yue's false form so perhaps he knew something. "Well, yeah, but this is worse than usual. The last time he was like this was almost two hundred years ago. He just clammed up and wouldn't talk to anyone."

"Okay, what happened to make him like that back then?"

The Sun guardian froze, a frown wrinkling his face. "I…I can't remember…"

"Huh? What do you mean, Kero?" Sakura spoke up, concern written all over her face.

The Guardian shrugged again, this time in confusion. "I know something bad happened, because of the way Yue was acting, but I can't remember what."

"Why not?" Touya demanded.

"I don't know," Kero snapped, his concern making all the more sort tempered, "But if I had to take a guess I'd say Clow must've used Erase to wipe our memories. All the signs of that are there but I just don't know why he'd do that."

Sakura settled back in her seat. She bit her lips as she ventured forth an option that had leapt into her mind as soon as Kero had finished speaking. "Maybe he did that because it _was_ so bad. I mean, maybe the thing that happened was really, really horrible and he knew that neither Kero nor Yue would be able to handle such a memory."

"I – maybe." By now all three of them were wondering the same thing. If Clow had indeed done as Kero suggested, what was it that had happened? And what did it have to do with Yue's current behaviour?

* * *

**Depersonalisation disorder**

Periods in which patients have a strong and unpleasant sense of their own unreality, often coupled with the sense that the environment is also unreal. May feel mechanical and separated from his own thoughts, emotions, and self-identity.

* * *

_Conversations with Kero were always hostile but this…this was worse than before. I'm not even sure why he's so insistent that I come out so often. It was hardly as if they needed me around. Yukito is more than enough company and he can warn me if something does happen. I do know when I'm not wanted._

_I'm happy here, in this empty world of my making. This dream world of mine is far more real than anything out there. Reality is what one perceives it to be and it is obvious that the world _they_ live in will never be my reality. It's too loud, too vivid, too much of everything. My reality is quiet, serene, empty. There is no one here but myself and I do not have to pretend to feel anything. My false form can feel all those emotions that people think are a part of a sentient being. He can pretend to be embarrassed when people compliment him, he can pretend to be sad when people hurt him, he can pretend to be angry when someone provokes him. _He_ can be the one to feel all those things. I will exist here, in this world of mine. Where I have no identity, save the one I want._

_I wonder if Yukito could ever live in such an existence as mine._

_

* * *

_

A/N

1. This is what happens when you start immersing yourself in original fictions and lose contact with the fanfic world.

2. See all those definitions? Sound like anyone familiar we know of?

3. Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance is such a cool game. And so full of shounen-ai implication.


End file.
